It’s never good to write when mad or feeling excessively emotional. Yes, sorry, your break up poetry sucks. Everything is political at this point. Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it, so always look on the bright side of life. (Thank you to Pythons passed and still with us, except for Terry […]
Is it sedition if I say that Bill Barr is a sorry excuse for an Elton John impersonator but an even worse one for a human being and that I’d like to kick his smirking ass into a seventh grade science lab, where the kids can free the frogs before they go to the chloroform […]
Dear America, If I had a time machine, I’d go back to Boston and Philadelphia in 1775 and 1776 (I would bring bug spray. I’d also be wearing pants and sneakers and I would totally show Ben Franklin my no line progressive lenses in my glasses and tell him… “This is all you, my man.” […]
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What’s the Worst That Can Happen?
We’re all going to die eventually, right? I mean, at this rate, America, probably we are all gonna go pretty much at once and take the rest of the world with us. Dear World, including America, You know the “Back to the Future” movie franchise? You know how what’s his face, the shithead kid, Biff Buffington […]
Our bathroom in the new house pisses me off (because this is more home than it was, but it is still “the new house”). It’s funny because it didn’t to start with. I mean, I was salty because we had finally redone the bathroom at the old house a few years earlier and it fucking ruled. […]
Hey, America… If you don’t think that the guy in the Oval Office is a fantastically huge pile of jaundiced dung spewed out by some cosmic sphincter that leads to a galaxy full of hepatitis C, you’re… look, if you support this fucker, I don’t know. I don’t know what you are. I don’t know […]
(It doesn’t enlarge. Fuck technology. Here’s the guys in the tree:) Forgive me if the above image is hard to see. I hope it will enlarge for you, but let me tell you… my server and the WordPress media uploader are assholes and losers. I made a bump out in the original photo to the […]
Dear America, there’s all these people saying that if we don’t elect someone who isn’t orange and weird and who apparently, we learned last night, thinks I can protest my ass but he doesn’t talk about his ass, this is the last free election we will have (I… this dude is fucking president, and has […]
There are two tweets I wrote that I think I ought to leave here, instead of expanding on them, today, because I am going to say a lot of shit that maybe I mean, but maybe I should be more careful on how I say it… But also, fuck you, America. Fuck you, fuck me, […]
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Cat Wrangling
Yay for cryptozoology. There have been some stories in the news lately about strange creatures, like this one from Webster, Massachusetts. Honestly, the video was pretty great, and because I’ve gotten wicked good at making out what the fuck is that thing that the Ring doorbell picked up at 3 am (it’s a coyote. It’s […]