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Dear America

We Are Met Here on a Great Battlefield of That War

When I was in fifth (fourth?) grade we had to memorize the Gettysburg Address. Now I am forty seven years old and I can still recite most of it with very little prompting. I think it was the Hay version we learned. I mean, they’re all essentially the same, it’s just how fast a motherfucker […]

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Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

So the Past Few Days…

Goddammit, America, you… we… are a bunch of weird motherfuckers. I have to cast some serious fucking side eye and not forgive in any way, shape or form the 20% of the total population that still apparently supports that orange piece of shit… Especially the increased number of white broads that voted for him this […]

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Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Oh Come ON

I suspect Biden will win this and there will be much pissing and moaning ultimately and tons of litigation because that’s all the fucking orange piece of shit ever does, but for the love of fucking Christ, a lot of you motherfuckers are just fucking fascists. No, I am not fucking sorry at all, if you […]

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Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

If You Haven’t, and Can, Do It

Go vote, America. I don’t like either guy much either, but one is a human being with flaws and the other is an evil sentient narcissistic nectarine who is hell bent on killing us all, and who at the very least doesn’t give a shit about you. I get you if it doesn’t feel like progress […]

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Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Dear Rest of World

The fucking piece of shit in the Ovaltine Orifice has apparently made every one in the White House sick, and seriously fucked with DC’s infection rate… like it went up 500% because of this fucking Supreme Court nominee party had weird ass people all slobbering all over each other and hugging and shit. (Is there […]

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Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell Little Thoughts

It Is What It Is, and Surprise! I Don’t Really Care, Do You?

Hey America, The orange pile of shit that we elected… (I guess. Sort of. I get it, he won, and don’t get me started on Hilary fucking it up, because yes, she most definitely fucked herself over last time around, so hey. She still would have at least been competent.) The orange pile of shit […]

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Dear America Little Thoughts

Sigh.

Ever have so much to say and it all is jostling around in your head to come out? Yeah? No, really, I usually do and then in an instant it flits away, usually right when I sit down to write. Today, though, I got nothing. Like, what the fuck can I say? There’s over 200,000 […]

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Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Things I Have Learned

It’s never good to write when mad or feeling excessively emotional. Yes, sorry, your break up poetry sucks. Everything is political at this point. Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it, so always look on the bright side of life. (Thank you to Pythons passed and still with us, except for Terry […]

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Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell Little Thoughts

Is This Sedition?

Is it sedition if I say that Bill Barr is a sorry excuse for an Elton John impersonator but an even worse one for a human being and that I’d like to kick his smirking ass into a seventh grade science lab, where the kids can free the frogs before they go to the chloroform […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Can Yankee Doodle Trump Cheez Doodle?

Dear America, If I had a time machine, I’d go back to Boston and Philadelphia in 1775 and 1776 (I would bring bug spray. I’d also be wearing pants and sneakers and I would totally show Ben Franklin my no line progressive lenses in my glasses and tell him… “This is all you, my man.” […]