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Big Thoughts Dear America

Things I Learned From Watching the Second Impeachment

…and over the last ten days or so. A decent quarter of the country is absolutely fucking nuts, and more than that has been far too quiet about it. I learned that Louie Gohmert, Representative from somewhere in Texas (where I can only imagine Louie Gohmert lives all by himself because I can not believe […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America

There Goes the Grand Experiment

No, seriously. It’s like the Democrats think they have this magical power where they say “The president needs to be removed” and he’ll just go, but he doesn’t, because¬†they don’t have that power. But whenever the fucking asshole orange man says “Oh, fake news, fraud, let’s fight this out in Washington on this random date” […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Official Statement on the 45th Guy Being an Asshole to the State of Georgia and the Country at Large

Dear America, In 2016, you elected a motherfucking piece of shit ass waste of a man. He is a criminal, and a bully, and actually a pretty shitty criminal and bully. But he is persistent, so generally speaking, people who realize he is not their screaming toddler just give the baby what he wants and […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Can Yankee Doodle Trump Cheez Doodle?

Dear America, If I had a time machine, I’d go back to Boston and Philadelphia in 1775 and 1776 (I would bring bug spray. I’d also be wearing pants and sneakers and I would totally show Ben Franklin my no line progressive lenses in my glasses and tell him… “This is all you, my man.” […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America

People Throughout History Have Always Sucked

(It doesn’t enlarge. Fuck technology. Here’s the guys in the tree:) Forgive me if the above image is hard to see. I hope it will enlarge for you, but let me tell you… my server and the WordPress media uploader are assholes and losers. I made a bump out in the original photo to the […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Dear Fucking America

There are two tweets I wrote that I think I ought to leave here, instead of expanding on them, today, because I am going to say a lot of shit that maybe I mean, but maybe I should be more careful on how I say it… But also, fuck you, America. Fuck you, fuck me, […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Schools Are the New Economy

Hey, dearest America, why do you think the Orange Motherfucker is so into schools being open? First, he wants your kids to be orphans, but smart orphans? Yeah, no, bullshit, you know as well as I do that the guy pretending to be a human pretending to be president doesn’t give two shits about your […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America

It’s Neither Here Nor There

Not really, for me, America. I would have voted for a pair of old gym socks and a used condom over Trump and Pence, so I’m okay with Biden and Harris. I’m not thrilled, but I wasn’t about Hillary either. Still, y’know. I would have voted for old gym socks and a used condom then, […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

I Grew Up in New Hampshire and This Post Officially Makes Me a Pinko

Dearest America, I’ve been poking around of various travel forums and it’s interesting. Actually, it’s always eye opening. I’m always taken aback when I hear about how litter free the United States is from people in Europe, and I’m always really taken aback when I hear about how litter free over and above that Boston […]

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Big Thoughts Dear America

Dear USointoelderAbuse,

Dear America, I am going to admit something really uncomfortable. In some ways, I really can relate to the Orange Guy in the Oval Office. I bet I would like the meatloaf at the White House. I’m unsteady on my feet. I make way less sense when I talk than when I write (I doubt […]