Big Thoughts Dear America Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell

Official Statement on the 45th Guy Being an Asshole to the State of Georgia and the Country at Large

Dear America,

In 2016, you elected a motherfucking piece of shit ass waste of a man. He is a criminal, and a bully, and actually a pretty shitty criminal and bully. But he is persistent, so generally speaking, people who realize he is not their screaming toddler just give the baby what he wants and get the fuck out of dodge (see most of the administration prior to now).

In 2020, this giant fucker lost the election by not enough to make me not want to side eye the living shit out of many of you, but he lost it enough that there is no getting it back, there is no mistake. He is out of the job that he clearly fucking hates because he hasn’t bothered to show up and do any of it. Even the easier bits he might have had some success with… You know, like, “Nazis are bad. Bounties on our soldiers in Afghanistan is a bad thing.” (Maybe because he doesn’t give a shit or, uh, is fine with Nazis.) But his orange snozz is out of joint and now he’s got some dicknosed fuckers leading him on and he’s threatening the Secretary of State of Georgia with bad things if he doesn’t recalculate and find some ballots and why the hell would someone leave a shithole state like that and then move back and register to vote there again? (How the hell Secretary Raffs- Raffensb… Brad…  Raffensperger didn’t hang up at that point, I do not know… and look, I have issues with how there’s still some crazy voter suppression going on in Georgia, but I have absolutely no beef with this man for standing up for what is right, as he did here. So I owed it to him to get his name right.)

My official statement on the action is that 45 and anyone who thinks this is vaguely okay can just fuck right off.

And maybe that’s not productive, but come on. This is criminal. It. Is. Criminal. And the bottomfeeding ass suckers that are following along officially… Ted Cruz, who is actually an honest to god fish monster anyway, Jim Jordan (oh, do not get me started on that fucking cunt who looks the other way as young athletes are molested on his watch), Louie Gohmert, who, um… Jesus, just look him up…. John Kennedy from Louisiana who I swear to god has a funeral home do his make up when he goes on TV to be a pundit… I mean… When the shit all falls to pieces they want to swoop in in the power grab, which probably means Cruz and Jordan come out on top because while they are horrible people, cephalopods such as they are obviously smarter than Louie Gohmert. I mean, they can open jars. Ever see Gohmert do that? Right. Thought so.

Anyway, it’ll be… um, interesting in a totally unsettling way to see where these people end up hitching their wagons. One thing for sure, we need to point everyone in that wagon train toward  the mountain pass and then blow the bridges all round so they’re trapped and don’t get to pull this shit again. Because they will try. If they are not closely examined for the shit they’ve pulled and held accountable for it, even when they’re gone, the next iteration of these trash people will try it again.

Gohmert. Sounds like a measurement of puddle viscosity.