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Dear America Little Thoughts

Sigh.

Ever have so much to say and it all is jostling around in your head to come out? Yeah? No, really, I usually do and then in an instant it flits away, usually right when I sit down to write.

Today, though, I got nothing. Like, what the fuck can I say? There’s over 200,000 dead Americans in like… seven months because of governmental negligence. Kushner pirating supplies they made states bid against each other to obtain, right out of the port, so he can…. I don’t know, put all those masks on balloon people so he can pretend he has friends? Herman Caine, an African American politician and businessman and you know, not necessarily the best guy in the world by a long shot, attends a Trump rally in Oklahoma where masks were discouraged, and then catches the virus and dies a month or two back, and his fucking Twitter account has tweeted several times about current current events and also that the virus is a Democratic hoax. So either the dude is fucking laying there in a coffin with a fucking phone tweeting, or someone the organization he was head of is still so sold and it’s like… for what, people? For fucking what?

And so sane and fucking cold the Orange Sonofabitch tells Bob Woodward (of all fucking people) that the virus is a big deal and is highly contagious and it’s really terrible for people in their age bracket… and he is just… Honestly, there is something wrong with the man healthwise, too, clearly. He doesn’t move or walk like he’s okay. Is he aphasic, or is he functionally illiterate, or both? I don’t know. I don’t care. I don’t know when he became delusional, but he clearly is… and that certainly, even if he has been delusional most of his adult life… doesn’t mean he couldn’t have also just been a straight up evil fucking asshole.

But like, you all know that.

And I’m taking some sort of puzzled… I don’t know. Is it going to matter if people who still somehow are behind him find out he cheated his taxes and took foreign money as president? I don’t know. I doubt it. I think he will tell them it is lies and they will believe him even though of course it isn’t… I think, though, it will drive him crazy… ier… because he knows it is true and probably has his shit together enough to be mildly incredulous that anyone buys his line of crap.

But I think what kills me is that it’s because they like the racism. They like the absolution of any thing that requires any sense of personal responsibility. They like being able to deny any thing that looks like failure, which is stupid, of course. There’s no shame in failure. What’s happening here, now… is shameful.

And we will be rid of this fucking idiot and his crew one day, but the problem is, the people who support the idiocy because they like the driving fear and hate remain (not good people who have never talked to someone who is from a vastly different place and culture, but are willing to sit down and find that they have shit in common, too… I believe those people are out there, and those people are able to change and grow and empathize). These people aren’t going to slink back under the rocks they crawled out from… Sure, the Klan has been here for years sort of out in the open, but not… not like this. And I don’t think they’re going to just slink back to the sidelines.

But I kinda still have nothing to say, because… like, it’s all burning to the ground, and I bought some of those awesome bamboo sheets because when it’s gone to shit, I won’t be able to find them anymore probably and they’re fucking fantastic when you get night sweats.

This is a thing that is happening. We’re in a failed state here and I’m like, “No way in hell do I have any skills to patch up clothing. Better stock up on those really soft seamed underwear, because my existing pairs are looking holey as fuck. And I am gonna be one apocalyptic crank without them.”