Dear America

I’m Not Mad, America

I am just disappointed.

Nah, fuck that. I’m mad. I’m pissed as hell, and I… it really is less a question of whether the Asshat in Chief is going to do what he says… Is it a bullshit, completely unconstitutional thing that is going to fuck the country up, designed to kill black and brown people and line his pocket? Yes. Then he is going to do it. If there is some grey area on any of those objectives, then he is going to twist it so it manages to tick all those boxes. It’s fucking clear. I mean, we knew this from before he was elected. Well, I did and I’m not fucking special, America. This isn’t because I went to some mad elite liberal college. Do you have a functioning limbic system? Yeah? Vaguely paying attention? Yeah? Sort of half interested maybe in history, maybe in the world right now, maybe in the world right now continuing with less heartache and pain for all, or hell, even mostly the people you kinda care about sort of, fuck the ones from places you never heard of? Yeah?

Then you had to see this coming. You had to. And yeah, I’ll admit I didn’t necessarily think it would go totally to shit in less than four years, but then, I kind of hoped that any massive, heavy catastrophic event the country faced was on the level of a hurricane (sorry Puerto Rico. I am really, truly, so very, very, deeply sorry) or an earthquake (oh. Shit. Sorry, Puerto Rico. I… I mean, you didn’t even have any say in this guy coming on board, and that sucks, because he is figuratively still tossing paper towels at you and you do not deserve anything less than people on the mainland, except… well… Yeah, no. This sucks. Please know plenty of fellow citizens here see you and know it isn’t okay).

But obviously we had those, and this jackass bumbles his way through and everything is still fucked. He’s fucking talking about rakes for forest fires because they do that in Finland (and the president of Finland is like, “Keep my country’s name out of your foul mouth!” Also, he’s like “rake the forest? We don’t rake the fucking forest, you moron.”) He wants to nuke hurricanes… which was what, the plot of Sharknado, wasn’t it? I don’t know. It’s fucking ridiculous. And he just wants to will a pandemic away.

Of course, right, he isn’t alone. I sure wish this weren’t happening, because his inability to do anything at all like a human is now all too real, all the time, for the entire goddamn world because… hey, if we ever were all that and a bag of chips, America, we’re just a lousy fucking empty bag now.

But again, fuck that guy. Seriously, just… fuck him. I mean, we could very well see it from back here in the cheap seats, but what must it look like from up close? I am looking at you, Susan Collins. Why do you think he learned his lesson this time? Why do you think, at seventy two years old, he’s going to learn basic kindergarten level skills? He isn’t. And you keep falling for it? You can’t be falling for it. That means you either are getting something out of it (probably not reelected…) and even if you are… he’s going to be done with the legislative branch if he holds on. So you either are crooked as fuck or don’t know what to do.

And I am wondering, America, about something. It freaks me out. If he does this stupid shit, kneecapping the Postal Service, shedding doubt left, right, and sideways about whether votes are in and counted or whatever (and I don’t imagine he won’t try it all. It’s been the little guys, the career folks, the public servants in the proudest, truest, best sense of the word that have held this all together. I don’t think they can reverse course, but with any luck they’ll be able to keep the wheels on the truck and have the paper trail to prove it enough… just enough)… if it should come to pass that he holds on long enough, it isn’t like we’re going to have the other branches of government even in name. I mean, stop and think on it. Stop and think. We really don’t even now, so much.

So would it be freeing? I don’t know. I don’t think so. It’s terrifying, truly. If he put in his kangaroo government, bigger and more roo-tastic than he has been able to do until this point… would that free up the people who are now no longer there to fix anything from the outside? It’s a terrifying thought because truthfully it’s acknowledging that even if he leaves office and it isn’t really contested, that something is really fucking busted. And I hate to say this, America, we are real good at looking away the moment a crisis leaves our immediate view. I mean, I know this isn’t going to leave our immediate view because there’s wreckage all around (sorry, California, and Florida, and Texas, and the Carolinas, and Puerto Rico. Sorry Ohio. Sorry Tennessee. Remember what happened there? Earlier this week, Beirut blew about a third of itself completely down because someone in the government failed to get around to moving nearly three thousand tons of explosive ammonium fertilizer stuff… I am sorry, either nitrite or nitrate and the one thing I do know is that there is probably a huge difference, even if it is just in combustibility. How many people here is this not even a blip on the radar for? It isn’t here, sure, but Jesus fuck, America, this is your world, like it or not. It is a big fucking deal. And we should be helping but look at us.)

But we don’t like long, messy roads to recovery. And I don’t like the idea of actual insurrection, and this is why I hope it ain’t that broken, because maybe we can kick the can of insurrection down the road to a time when I’m dead and don’t have to see it.  Or better yet, maybe we can actually put on our big kid pants and find out how we make this work (but honestly, I don’t… I don’t know. Like, I don’t even know. I know I’d lessen the power drastically in the executive branch, and I’d want more people on the Supreme Court and I’d be giving out term limits on elected positions and probably on the courts like Oprah gives out copies of her book club books, for damn sure.)

They always said, “Vote. It’s your super power.” Obviously, though, that’s quite possibly bullshit. I think it is important to do. I have filled out my mail in ballot for the state primary. You still do it. You go through those motions, but unlike Susan Collins, I have a sneaking suspicion that no one is learning anything. But voting says you care.

Voting has already shown us… hell, these past two federal elections are showing us that something is very, very broken. We have unrepresented people, we have over-represented people represented by people who have nothing in common with the people they overly represent, thereby making them… unrepresented. So here are voters we suppress, and then there’s voters who vote for a candidate who is clearly against their interests but stokes this fear, and nobody wins. Nobody wins. Except the candidate stoking that fear and there on up the chain.

Don’t be lazy, America. Don’t be sad… Well, you can be sad. That’s fine. This all really sucks, for sure. It is fine to be sad. But be angry. Be mad this is happening and please use that constructively. I don’t just mean vote or run for office or whatever. Fuck that. Voting feels like not enough, and running for office? Right, you do not want me in office. Jesus Fucking Hamster Balls, do not vote for me. But there’s gotta be something I can do, and you can do, even if it’s just vomiting up words here, like this, for now, until I figure it out…

I am mad, America. Please, please don’t disappoint me. I’ll do the same for you. I pinky swear to you, bitches.