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Little Thoughts

I Hate Coming Up With Titles

Putting a title on a post is like the fucking lamest thing ever. I don’t know why it’s so hard. Even when I write things with a point, it isn’t as though it’s really easy or self evident what the headline should be. If I had to sum up and title, say, the press conference that the fucking asshat in the Oval Office gave yesterday, it would be something like, “The President is a Fucking Madman.” Or “We Might as Well Be Led by a Tub of Butter.” Or “Aerosolized Spray Cheese Can Animate, But No Intelligence Detected.”

I’m not kidding. I wish we had an animate, if not sentient, can of Cheese Whiz in charge, because we could spread it on crackers and throw it in the ocean and be done with it. (I don’t know why I am throwing shit in the ocean today. Some days I am just like that, “Get in the sea! To the sea with you!” Other days I am yeeting people into the sun. Today is a beach day, I guess.)

A lot of the times I think it is me, though, not being able to concisely pull out the point of an article or piece of work, but other times I am sure that it’s more that it seems overly reductive… If you can sum something up in one line, then give it a line. If you have an opinion, state it, and back it up or get the hell out.  Like, I hate coming up with post titles.

I suppose the advent of clickbait headlines didn’t help much. Now I’m just like, no one wants to read any of that shit. Get in to the sea.