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Intentionally Paving the Road to Hell Little Thoughts

Resistant is Futile

I know, that’s not the saying, right? Hear me out…

Being resistant to something is not a guarantee. I think the only exception to this is… remember the old Saturn sedans? Like many people of a certain age, this was the first new car Paul and I bought. It was the first car we owned that had automatic windows and air conditioning. It was a hassle free car to purchase, and honestly, aside from the alternator being an asshole under warranty, it was a decent car and lasted a good long time. It was also marketed as dent resistant.

And it was. We got smacked by many, many shopping carts with no ill effects. You could touch it up with a hunter green sharpie, for fuck’s sake. But no dents. However, if someone hit it with any force, like backing out of a driveway at low speed with your van, distracted as fuck, and you whack the opened door… not only does the door come off, it would crack into fifty million shards of that shit they found at Roswell.

No dents.

I have a carbon fiber weather resistant camera body. Volcanic sand will blow in there, it will fuck things up, and you will be grateful because you got to see this:

And resistant doesn’t mean it won’t work afterwards. It means you will learn to compensate and work around that little bit of fuckery that will not come off the optical viewfinder.

A deer came through yesterday and ate all our hostas, the bastard. But deer like those a lot, and I like deer, and I don’t really give a shit. Then he decided, “Ah, what the fuck, I’m going to go for these stonecrops and sedums and shit…” and the little bastard took a bite out of every one, and then actually immediately spit half of them out. Because there is a pandemic and I don’t want to put garden center workers at risk over a goddamn rock garden plant, I’ve gotten most of my sedum and stonecrops through the mail, through splitting the plants that are already in the yard, and through theft. (I steal them out of retaining walls by the sidewalk that they root in and I say it’s a public service, because it isn’t like that isn’t destructive, right? I have become the whitest lady ever. Jesus Fuckballs Christ. Walking my pug, stealing sedums out of your retaining wall…) Sedum and stonecrop are pretty damn deer resistant. It means they bite them and then spit them out.

Obviously, a slippery word is resistant. I suppose it is because it doesn’t mean impervious. (Think about impervious… is that like, unable to pervert? Whoa. I oughtta look the etymology up on that motherfucker.)

Being resistant to change doesn’t mean unable to change. It isn’t impervious to change. It just means someone likes to spit change back a few times before it begins to be entertained as a possibility. I think maybe that’s a decent thing to keep in mind.

My plants are fucked, though.