When I was in fifth (fourth?) grade we had to memorize the Gettysburg Address. Now I am forty seven years old and I can still recite most of it with very little prompting. I think it was the Hay version we learned. I mean, they’re all essentially the same, it’s just how fast a motherfucker […]
I have a telehealth appointment with my pain doctor, and as per like, everyone, they do a depression screening. That’s cool, that’s a great thing to do and have normalized and shit, but one thing I think that they ask there and nobody else does is “Do you feel uneasy?” and I’m like… …what the […]
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So My Brain…
My brain has a hard time retaining certain things. I have decent long term memory, shitty short term, and then shit gets all jumbly. It makes reading and writing harder (and it’s something I was always good at, so it bothers me, but I still fucking do madly awesome on the verbal parts of the […]
Goddammit, America, you… we… are a bunch of weird motherfuckers. I have to cast some serious fucking side eye and not forgive in any way, shape or form the 20% of the total population that still apparently supports that orange piece of shit… Especially the increased number of white broads that voted for him this […]
I suspect Biden will win this and there will be much pissing and moaning ultimately and tons of litigation because that’s all the fucking orange piece of shit ever does, but for the love of fucking Christ, a lot of you motherfuckers are just fucking fascists. No, I am not fucking sorry at all, if you […]
Go vote, America. I don’t like either guy much either, but one is a human being with flaws and the other is an evil sentient narcissistic nectarine who is hell bent on killing us all, and who at the very least doesn’t give a shit about you. I get you if it doesn’t feel like progress […]
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Calling It In
Pugs are fine. We kept having to get pee samples, but apparently the weight loss is because I thought there were about a hundred and fifty more calories per can of dog food than there actually is. I mean, I am glad they are healthy and also I can’t help but feel they bribed the […]
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A Wee Ladle
Not a small one, a big one, full of dog wee. It’s tricky to get a urine sample from a girl pug. At least her backend works so that she’s off the ground when she wees, unlike our poor GWEN!!! Manlover, who had some quickly atrophying muscles in her posterior and she generally was on […]
The fucking piece of shit in the Ovaltine Orifice has apparently made every one in the White House sick, and seriously fucked with DC’s infection rate… like it went up 500% because of this fucking Supreme Court nominee party had weird ass people all slobbering all over each other and hugging and shit. (Is there […]
Hey America, The orange pile of shit that we elected… (I guess. Sort of. I get it, he won, and don’t get me started on Hilary fucking it up, because yes, she most definitely fucked herself over last time around, so hey. She still would have at least been competent.) The orange pile of shit […]