People, Can’t Quite Figure Em
By shoe | September 4, 2008
First, not related to anything: Amazon QuickPicks recommended especially for me: The Brother P-Touch Electronic Labeling System. Uh, wow. I am floored at how well Amazon knows me. Not sure why they chose that -- possibly for the same reason they recommended the Salad Shooter (I bought the LoTR trilogy on DVD).
Now, I may be biased. My cousin, a year older than I, who I grew up with... almost as if he were my brother... for the first seven years of my life... is an undertaker. At 18, he realized he had to choose between his two preferred career paths: funeral services, or stand-up comedy. (You think I am making this up? Heh.)
He decided on what I think was the wiser of the two career moves: he attended college to study mortuary science. (Stand-up comedy is an iffy proposition, and too many really good talented people die way too young in the field due to all that outside influence stuff -- still, honest to god, he would have kicked serious ass at it. And a good, twisted, sick sense of humor is a plus in the funeral business some days -- as it is in librarianship and medicine, actually.)
At 18, he was the youngest person in the program, by at least twenty years. He's this weird, wiry guy, and there's just something endlessly charming about him. So he graduates, finds a job. He passes on that job after about six months... Not because he doesn't like the job... He loves the work. Many funeral homes are family run, and even if you work there as a non-family member, it doesn't spare you the family baggage that might be lurking in the casket showroom, if you know what I mean.
Next job he takes is at a funeral home/chapel. It is a sort of family business, but is far more sane. The owners are Jewish, as are the clientele (is that what you call someone entering a funeral home? I mean, "stiff" sounds really lousy, and they don't go there of their own accord. They're dead). My cousin is not Jewish. I think technically he's still some sort of disgraced Catholic sort of deal -- but subscribes to my sort of view of this stuff -- what comes at the end, comes at the end, but if I can get through this plane without causing undue pain and hopefully improving the existence of the people I know, I'll just deal with what happens after the fact at the appropriate time.
He is not Jewish, no one in my family is, but it is not unusual for us to say shalom to each other. He's been at this funeral home for well over twelve years now. I know from hearing him talk about it that some days it is a horribly sad job. You shouldn't have to do a funeral service for a three year old. Or a twenty five year old. It's sad in its own right to have to prep a body that was found on the street that no one claimed (god, like it was luggage... but most people want their luggage. Sad.) that the city wants prepared to health code so that they can bury it in an unmarked grave.
Then there is the idea that, hey, this happens to everyone eventually. Yes, I'm afraid, even Ray Kurzweil. They have tried for many years to get my cousin to work upstairs (man the funerals? I don't know). He doesn't like to. He said the dead relatives are much easier to deal with than the live ones. And he's this weird wiry guy with a constant smirk, whether he's deliriously happy or devastated, and that is a little off-putting. And he's charming as hell, and sympathetic. It makes him uneasy to be up there, I think, but he's seriously a magnet for people liking him. It could be that constant smirk, which I think after ten years of the funeral home owner telling him to look less happy, has finally been accepted as just some less disfiguring facial deformity with the added benefit that sometimes it puts greiving people at ease.
So, what I was getting at in the longest way possible... Death is a big deal, of course. It's a huge deal. But it happens. And there are things that are associated with death -- funeral homes, caskets, hearses -- that people wig out when they see. But they are things, and we assign meaning to them.
I find it disturbing that people are wigged out by the couple married at the funeral home they work at. It is a building. That's all. People get married in different locations... inside, outside... This meant something to them. And from this side of things... being a mortician is far more difficult than most people imagine. It is a skill that requires knowledge of equipment, and health policies and medical procedures. There is, rightly, a pride that comes with that. Working in a funeral home isn't usually something that you do unless, for whatever reason, you really have consciously chosen to. What's wrong with making the commitment -- and with bringing a happy event -- to a place that means something to you, and might (god forbid) be comforting to families coming in for the intended purpose?
People seem skeeved that the chair layout and room surveying for the ceremony was done prior to a viewing, with a gentleman lying in his casket (pretty sure it wasn't open. They don't just leave em open for no reason). Is that any more disrespectful than someone coming in and seeing if the room will work for the viewing of their loved one that just died while another body was in there?
For the love of pete, they didn't exchange rings over the guy's body. They weren't in there hanging streamers and balloons when the mourners were there. And if it were my relative lying there... You know, I'd feel kind of good knowing that he could in some way be present at the conception of an event that's pretty positive and life affirming.
Topics: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Science Facts and Personal Reflection
By shoe | September 2, 2008
The real ugliness first, because it is a downer, and Paul and I have been snappy at each other because we're worried about Norman. Norman has always had crappy teeth. We'd get them cleaned, try to brush them (he gets so freaked out) and they'd be a mess in three weeks. Last cleaning and extraction, he had a stroke. He recovered really well, except for intermittent quivery legs. We decided that was his last bit of dental work.
Now he has a toothache, and likely, looking at his eyes and behavior an infection. Came on fast yesterday. We need take him to the vet and clear the infection... and we have no choice but to get the offending teeth removed (and hey, cleaned, of course). Between his heart murmur, and the history of strokes, this is really scary. Really scary.
I had to buy new clothes yesterday. I didn't think I liked to buy clothes because it sucks to be overweight and short. I hit the 65 lb. lost mark and rolled down another pant size. Waist size now allows me to buy pants anywhere.
I am short. Coupled with short, I have the distinction of having inherited my dad's legs. I am short, and my torso is small, but normal small... but legs are smaller than small. Stubby! Petite length inseams are about two to three inches too long. Short inseams, three to four too long.
That's a pain, fo'shizzle, but I don't think it's why I hate shopping for clothes. I just... hate being in a store with clothes and looking at them. I like to go into stores and do the hit and run thing. Maybe it's because of the tiredness...It doesn't matter if the store is crowded or well laid out or what... I want to get in, and get out. It is worse with clothing stores, although it isn't always the case. I'd rather buy clothes online and just pick out the stuff, and save it in the cart over a period of time.
And today I learned a science fact: Reptile eggs, if the right (or, more accurately, the very, very wrong) conditions exist...can explode. They don't explode like a canister of Pillsbury dough when you press a spoon gently against it. They explode like a live land mine. The noise and distance of shell flight is impressive.
Lots of lovely smelling infected egg contents oozed out of the remaining bit. From what I can put together... this egg was laid in a very very wet area, and we found it a decent amount of time after laying. I suspect that the egg was too damp, too long, while the shell and preliminary development stuff was going on. Infection crept in, and multiplied and the heat and pressure of the infected stuff inside versus the outside environment... Boom.
I took the remaining eggs, separated them and put them in new medium to continue incubating.
Too infected to see if there was any sign of viability. The remaining eggs are meh except for the second clutch... which should maybe be in hatching mode soon. I hope. Still, never ever give up on egg, unless, of course, it explodes.
Topics: Flora and Fauna, It's All About Me | No Comments »
Yee Haa. Last Week Was a Trip.
By shoe | August 31, 2008
A lot of the kind of crappy stuff that happened last week I know really, in the long run, either boiled down to being the right thing to do, or will be a positive step forward from here.
As I said earlier, I left Download Squad. We're just going to let what happens at AOL stay at AOL. I stand by that it was a great gig, and I appreciate the opportunity, but now it's time for the next chapter.
Had another visit with the sleep doctor. The suck of it is, I operate at about 20% capacity on a good day. Good days and bad are entirely unpredictable, and a good morning can lead to a trainwreck afternoon and vice versa. Sleeping great at night can leave me in a worse state than waking up and falling back to sleep every fifteen minutes all night long, or it can put me ahead. There's no logic to it.
The further suck is there is really nothing else they can do with stimulants except keep on what I've got because it at least takes me from nothing to 20% capacity. The problem with stuff to sleep at night is that it either leads to hangovers in the morning (which is a whole lot of pointless) or that it doesn't do anything for slow wave sleep, which apparently my brain's forgotten how to do. They're giving Neurontin, at night, one more go to see if it at least lets me stay asleep for the first 2-3 hours after going to bed. Xyrem and I are incompatible.
And again, I knew this was coming. It was nice (in a really crappy way) to hear Dr. K. acknowledge that there is a real limited quality of life, but this is where we stand. It was also nice, when we asked (again) for a working diagnosis, to have no mention of the "weight issue." Dr. K is also cut from that cloth of sleep doctors (and I kind of believe he's got a good point) who don't think there is any way to differentiate narcolepsy from hypersomnia NOS without witnessing a patient have a major cataplectic attack occur in front of him. MSLTs have a guidelines for the number of REM occurrences/sleep onset pointing towards narcolepsy, but it's possible that someone with narcolepsy can have MSLTs that don't hit that equation, just like someone without narcolepsy, under the right conditions, can meet the criteria. Blood tests can point to it, but the gene is present in a lot of people and was somehow never activated. Spinal taps might be a little more indicative than blood tests, but there is still not a lot to go on in interpreting how it adds up.
So I sit in the narcolepsy/hypersomnia spectrum. Hi. I'll send you all a postcard.
The final week's annoyance was spending two hours on the phone with Verizon DSL. Our old modem broke. Somewhere at Verizon there is a training booklet that says when netsh windsock reset doesn't work, just tell the customer to reinstall IE because it's a browser issue and get them off the phone. They don't tell the support staff how to deal with it when the customer says, "Then why can't my three Linux boxes connect either? And how will reinstalling IE fix the fact that pinging an IP address returns 100% packet loss?"
They just keep saying it's a browser issue. No lie, Verizon: sometimes it isn't necessary to reinstall IE in these cases... sometimes you just need to pick up a new modem. Somehow, I know, deep down inside, someone at Verizon will tell me that the new modem fixed IE.
Hooray for magical thinking!
Topics: Elusive Sleep, Excessive Sleep, Hardware, Healthcare (or lack thereof), It's All About Me | No Comments »
Is It Safe to Say This Yet? Do I Care?
By shoe | August 27, 2008
I've decided I don't care. I'll say it. I did put the official word in to the appropriate places, and I meant every word -- the good stuff, and the criticism. But I am seriously, seriously too old for this stuff. And by too old I mean I've pretty much matured past the age of fourteen, and some days, that seems like an insult to many of the totally wonderful fourteen year olds I've met.
I've found from past experience that it is possible to love a lot about a job, but when certain things start happening, it's time to get out. 'Cause company/brand/job loyalty is a nice, noble idea, and the people around you and directly above you can be wonderful people, but it's a pretty sure thing there's someone above them... or above that person... who says, "Look, how cute! Here comes the bus... chuck 'em under it!" or... it comes down to "thanks for your help and service... no, don't take the candy from the dish on my desk... that's for people who still work here."
And this isn't quite the same situation, but there are similarities, and I'm at the point that when my gut says, "It's time to go," it might be worth trusting it.
I've let the appropriate party at Download Squad know that it's the end of the line there for me. There may be one more feature forthcoming, which I committed to a while back, and is just taking some time to coordinate the people I need to talk to to put it all together. I let the appropriate party (who is... seriously... one of the best, most genuine people out there, and I think the world of him and feel for the position he is often put in) know that I am willing to finish that piece and follow through if he wanted.
And I'm going to avoid all sorts of details and the speculating on my part about how things are going to play out. I am going to listen to my gut, and hope in some way my gut failed me this time.
So... No. I am not disappearing off the face of the earth. I hope. Okay, most of the time I hope that. Sometimes it doesn't seem like a bad thing. There is Sudo Wrestling, of course...and a few other possibilities opening that I owe my fellow cephalopod and squid loving friends greatly for.
Topics: It's All About Me, Linux | No Comments »
Chicks Dig Cuttlefish
By shoe | August 24, 2008
Today, I learned that Logitech's RightLight is really powerful and my skin sorta has this glow in the dark look to it. I also learned that an eight megapixel camera is not a good thing when you are having an acne issue. (Why am I having an acne issue? I don't know. It's freakish!)
But my mom wants a picture with a good enough resolution that she can blow it up really big and hang it on the hearth in the new addition they're building. This'll blow up really big. Somehow I don't think she'd be feeling that, though.
Yes, that's my computer behind me, with the wild see through window. I like to use the webcam on Mr. Shoe's computer, because when shooting video, the Windows software feature set does me more justice than the Linux drivers can do. I see, though, that is not the same with stills.
I reinstalled OpenSUSE 11.0 to the native KDE4 version yesterday. That should have gone a lot smoother, and would have been very easily fixed if I wasn't a horribly stubborn sort. I could have deleted (or renamed) a file or two, and it would have worked, and I could have updated easily with a GUI and then put those files back.
Nope, I took out the hammer of Zypper and YaST2 in text mode. It looks really schweet now though.
Tried to go shopping today with Mr. Shoe, as I felt pretty good yesterday. Heh. Crud. We were gone less than about forty minutes, when it became apparent that if I did not return to a reclining position... immediately... great woe and tragedy would be released upon the globe.
Made it, mostly. So that woe and tragedy you may be experiencing currently... someone else's fault.
Monster and Norman were also taken to the vet this week. Norman endured the horrors of a couple vaccinations, and Monster got a blood draw to make sure that his achy legs are really from the fact he's a thirteen year old dog. Turns out, Monster is in remarkably good shape for a dog his age (who has been taking epilepsy medications for many years). However, his thyroid is apparently an underachiever. It does explain the hair loss and the fact that he is the only creature on earth that can even sleep me under the table. It is weird, though, the vet said, because he "isn't a portly fellow" (said with amazingly cool South African accent). True. Monster is 11 lbs. Okay, he's up from his usual 10 lbs. What a pig.
Topics: Elusive Sleep, Excessive Sleep, It's All About Me, Linux | 2 Comments »
Amazing Timesink.
By shoe | August 23, 2008
For the record, new SudoWrestling cast up. This episode had some issues. We decided we'd give recording with my webcam mic a go, rather than my headset. But Skype was evil. No. Not true. My evil town decided that it was time to put new telephone poles all down the street. DSL was not happy. Phone didn't care much. So for two seconds I'd sound fine, and then Lisa would sound okay, and then we'd all sound like we were underwater eating crackers. So Lisa called me on my landline, via Skype, and we did it that way. But my landline phone is even crappier than my headset or webcam mic, and I sound like I'm in a big padded cigar box.
Wasting far too much time on Twitter. Now there's this Chumby Twitter widget that allows me to update Twitter from my Chumby. My Chumby is located on my nightstand. I can update Chumby lying in bed. This bad, I tell you. Bad. But oh so good.
Topics: Chumby, Hardware, It's All About Me, Linux | No Comments »
And the Crowd Goes Wild
By shoe | August 22, 2008
Why? Did I leave the house without pants again? Dammit!
Thanks to some serendipitous events I was honored to work a little Sourceforge/PotM/Linux.com magic. This was a pretty interesting process, really. First off, I got to work with Tomcat, which I had never worked with before. I also got to marvel again and again at how spotty and temperamental Java can be in Linux. Plus, I got to look at the actual software I was reviewing once that other stuff was out of the way. A nice, full featured piece of work.
Also really dug the process of getting there. I had an editor that was very good. His suggestions were great, and even though I knew kind of what he was going to suggest for changes and clarifications (because I knew in some cases they were necessary), he did it in a manner that I actually saw really clearly, "Yeah, that's it... That's exactly what I need to focus on and where it has to be said."
Damn good experience, anyway. Thanks to all involved. Now to reunite myself with my pantaloons.
Topics: It's All About Me, Linux | No Comments »
Home Again
By shoe | August 20, 2008
I thought the mosquitos were fun in New Hampshire... Mr. Shoe and I just went out to re-pot the lily from hell, and clean the filter. Mr. Shoe went off to grab top soil, and I remained cleaning the filter (and the impeller on the pump damn near burned itself out.) No kidding, I am now, between my foray to New Hampshire and the half hour in the yard, so bitten beyond belief it feels like every inch of exposed area is swelled. Calves, ankles, upper arms, and forehead (those suckers love my forehead, for whatever reason).
I was dumb and wore a tank top and shorts out there. Didn't wear bug repellent, as I didn't think the air would be thick with them. I don't think it's going to cause an issue (I don't get overly sensitive to bug bites of any variety), but I have never been swarmed like that ever. And I have had times I've combed my hair and had dead mosquitos fall out (yes, I bathe daily. Sheesh!) Sick!
Lily is re-potted. It didn't eat us. That thing is evil. And weighs a good three hundred pounds.
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Fine, I Have Crappy Taste in Music
By shoe | August 20, 2008
But big friggin' wah. RIP, LeRoi Moore. I did not go to that last show. After seeing Dave and Tim at the TD Banknorth/FleetCenter/Garden/whatever the hell it is this week, and having to leave a half hour in because the crowd was so horribly obnoxious and the pot (and crack) fumes were interacting with medication onboard, I decided I was done.
Of course, I believe ComcastCenter is the former TweeterCenter (damn naming rights and bankruptcies. It's too confusing to keep venues straight). That means it is at least partially open air, which I do tend to do better with (Meadowlands in CT, nice... they stole our blanket, but at least the fumes were manageable and the beer the drunk idiotic college kids spilled all over us washed off).
Regardless, I will say this: Dave Matthews Band never was about Dave. Sure, he plays the guitar better than I do. He has a better vocal range, I guess, than I do (that ain't saying much). But Boyd (my personal favorite), LeRoi, Carter and Stefan were the show. Okay, fine. Boyd and LeRoi were the show. Carter was pretty impressive just cause he chewed gum the entire time he was drumming. Would that make it harder, or easier, and did it lose its flavor?
Delivery method aside, LeRoi was damn talented, and it's sad to see him go.
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Shout Outs
By shoe | August 18, 2008
It occurred to me today I know a lot of people in Florida. And, believe it or not, I actually really love a lot of those people in Florida. Of course, Momshoe and Caroline, Beth, and Dadshoe and all the attached people they care about. And there's my twisted sister, Lisa and the esteemed Mr. Zonker and many other penguin people that I care about.
So I hope Filthy Fay misses you all entirely, which would seem to mean I have to wish it upon someone else, but I guess I can't, so it doesn't matter anyway. Because as Zonker said, the weather doesn't do what he wants it to. It doesn't do what I want it to either. Actually, most days I'm lucky if I can get my brain to do what I want it to in a relative way.
Removed Adobe Album Starter from mom's computer, and the ASUS crap I accidently installed (whoops) and, wonder of wonders, it all moves much faster and everything behaves as it should. She is really digging Picasa. I'm at the point, it makes it easier for her to use her camera, and it doesn't weigh the desktop down, it's all good.
Topics: Hardware, It's All About Me, Linux, Travel Near and Far | No Comments »